the end of a chapter...

today was just like any other friday for the past 7 years. got up, went to zheng yi elementary school, taught my classes, loved on my kids, laughed and chatted in the office with the teachers, took the bus home...
it seemed like an ordinary friday, but it was different. it was different because today i did all these things for the last time. today the part of my life where i am an english teacher in kinmen came to an end. today marked the end of the way things have been for 7 years.

if i was writing the story of my life, what would this chapter include?
it would be the story of a call and of answering the call; of a rending, of seperation, of clinging, of surrender, of seeking and finding, of a sufficient fulfilling and supplying. the story of learning to love without being loved in return, of pouring forth and returning to the Source to be filled again; the story of burdens being borne and of learning to roll them onto the shoulders of One strong enough to bear them; the story of sowing with tears without knowing when or how the harvest will be brought forth; of trusting the Lord of the harvest to water and bring to fruit the seeds sown by those He sends into His fields...

it would be the story of a faith being grown, of faith holding on and losing hold, of faith failing, and of the One Who is ever faithful; the story of a broken heart, and of a near turning away from the known path; of a Guide who ever goes before and Who knows the way, of a Shepherd Who never leaves or forsakes His lambs, and of a Father Who chastens and disciplines and brings back into His way those children whom He loves; the story of an all-knowing One who will do what is best for His own, at any cost; the story of a God who gives and takes away, but who gives Himself in return; the story of restoring, of healing, of returning, of believing again; the story of many battles, fierce and intense, and of the mighty King who will always have the victory; the story of evil desperately struggling against the good, but failing each time it encounters the Strong One Whose very name offers protection, hope, and peace and Whose Word is a sharp sword...

it would be the story of friendships forged in the fires of affliction and suffering, to come forth stronger than ever, resilient amid the most vicious storms one could encounter; the story of a Voice that calls within the heart, of learning to hear that Voice above all others, and of laying down one's all to obey it; the story of proving daily that the One Whose Voice calls is enough...that He is ultimitely worthy of the greatest devotion, the supreme sacrifice, the highest praise...

and so this chapter closes

what the next part of the story will bring, i do not know, but i know the One who is writing the story. and i trust Him.

everything in the world

chiseled outside the cemetery at iwo jima: 


when you go home
tell them for us and say
for your tomorrow
we gave our today


"i am deeply moved by the courage and carnage on iwo jima. as i read the pages of this history, everything in me cries out, "oh Lord, don't let me waste my life!" let me come to the end - whether soon or late - and be able to say to a family, a church, a city, and the unreached peoples of the earth, "for your tomorrow, i gave my today. not just for your tomorrow on earth, but for the countless tomorrows of your ever-increasing gladness in God." 


from a corpsman struggling to save the life of his friend we have this moving account:


i took my forceps and reached into his neck to grasp the artery and pinch it off. his blood was spurting. he had no speech but his eyes were on me. he knew i was trying to save his life. i tried everything in the world. i couldn't do it. i tried. the blood was so slippery. i couldn't get the artery. i was trying so hard. and all the while he just looked at me. he looked directly into my face. the last thing he did as the blood spurts became less and less was to pat me on the arm as if to say, "that's all right." then he died.


in this heart-breaking moment i want to be...(both men.) i want to be able to say to suffering and perishing people, "i tried everything in the world...i was trying so hard." and i want to be able to say to those around me when i die, " it's all right. to live is Christ, and to die is gain." "


~don't waste your life by john piper

seeing You

You, God, are my God, 
earnestly I seek you; 
I thirst for you, 
my whole being longs for you, 
in a dry and parched land 
where there is no water.
psalm 63:1


may all i need, all i seek, be You
may i never ask that the way i walk be less parched and weary
only that i always may desire You, pant after You, cry out for You
with all that i am