a word for the weary

just like it's cold and flu season in the states, it is here too. after several days of taking kids to the hospital, talking to doctors and nurses, sitting through iv treatments, singing to them, holding them, answering patiently (i hope) a million question and answer sessions and taking kind and not so kind comments from curious on-lookers who want to know what the foreigner is doing with a chinese baby...you get the idea...a very tired baby and a very spent me finally arrived back at our house. while my normal schedule includes regular mon. - fri. shifts, and weekends off, this weekend has been spent pretty much at the hospital. or somewhere on the road between here and there. all i wanted to do was pass the baby off to the people on shift and crash in my room. the house was full of guests who had come to see the kids, but i didn't give them a second thought. i was set on a beeline to my room and the coveted rest. 

it didn't take long to see that things weren't going to work out quite the way i pictured. the baby wouldn't let me put her down, and clung to me refusing to eat unless i fed her. a worker from another one of our homes was there to see me and followed me into my room needing me to help her with some reference info and pics, and it seemed everyone was still demanding my time and attention. the verses from the gospels about Jesus being pressed in from every side with the crowds demanding to see Him and ignoring His need for rest flitted through my mind. as i had been the entire day, once again i sent up a prayer for grace, asking Him to be the strength and love i needed to keep on pouring out to everyone who needed me. 

as i sat holding the baby and talking to the worker, a lady i have never seen before came in, looked directly at me, and said, "praise the Lord! may God bless you for what you are doing. all afternoon as i have played and spent time with the kids there has been one phrase on my mind, 

"can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." (isaiah 49:15)

as i stared at her in amazement, tears filled my eyes and spilled over down my cheeks. it was one of those moments where you cease to see the person standing in front of you, and all you hear is His voice speaking straight to you. this woman who has never met me before, never heard my story, and certainly couldn’t see the weariness and struggle in my heart, went on to kneel down beside me and hold my hand as she lifted me up to the Father asking Him to give me strength. she told Him that while others may not understand what i am doing and may not be able to see the purpose, yet she is confident that He sees and He knows and honors the work we are doing here. He sees my tears. she then repeated several times a phrase that was also spoken into my heart as His words to me, “those who sow in tears will reap in joy.” (psalm 126:5) again and again she repeated it, the truth of the promise each time working itself deeper into my tired heart.

when she finished praying, she stood up, said again, “God bless you! praise the Lord!” and left. i felt i had been visited by an angel. regardless, i know that He sent her to me and gave her the word that i needed to hear. there’s just no other way to explain how someone who doesn’t know me and has never met me before would know so explicitly my need and how to pray for me. it was just as if He came down Himself and spoke directly to my needy spirit the words He wanted me to hear.

“the Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught that i may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary…”
isaiah 50:4

it’s something i’ve prayed for time after time…the wisdom to know how to speak a word in season to someone in need. how amazing it is when He comes Himself to speak a word to our weary hearts, leaving peace where there was anxiety, rest where there was turmoil, and grace to strengthen and sustain. and how humbling and encouraging it is that He chooses to use people like you and me as His spokesmen. 

am i a messenger of His grace to those around me?