life after denial

today at church english bible study we read in the gospel of matthew about peter denying Jesus. there were many observations made as we studied this passage as well as corresponding passages in other gospels. the thing that got me though, was one of the discussion questions: "am i like peter? how?" the moment i saw the question i knew that yes, i am very much like peter. how?

like peter, i have been singled out, chosen from among many, called by Jesus to be His disciple, to follow Him and learn of Him.
like peter i have traveled the road with Him for some time, and experienced over and over His incomparable love, His compelling passion for His Father's kingdom and glory, and His miraculous power.
like peter, i am so often full of self-confidence and pride. i bow before Him whom i know to be Lord of heaven and earth, the Christ, and God's own Son, and say that i will follow Him to the ends of the earth, even to the death...that i will never leave Him or turn back from following Him...

like peter, when the storm rises around me i take my eyes from His face, look to the billows that tower so high, and begin to sink.
like peter, in the moment of truth, i turn my back and forsake Him, though perhaps turning back to follow in the shadows.
like peter, when my heart is overwhelmed with disappointment and captured by fear, i deny Him. repeatedly. in the face of all my proud and insistant promises to do otherwise.
perhaps i don't shout out with loud cursing that i don't know Him and have never heard of Him...
but in my life, my attitudes, my thoughts, i am denying His truth, denying His power, denying that He keeps His promises.

i'm so thankful that peter's story didn't end with his broken heart. that Jesus looked at him. that Jesus thought of him, and mentioned him especially after His resurrection. that Jesus not only gave him the chance to reaffirm his love and devotion three times, one for every denial, but also filled him with the Holy Spirit and used him mightily to proclaim the very Name he had denied.

there was mercy and grace for peter.
there is mercy and grace for me.