january 1st, 2012

a new year. a blank page. a fresh start. a recalling of a year of mercies and grace poured out on weak, struggling, undeserving me. an evening of gratefulness and joy and falling in love with my Lord all over again.

earlier in the afternoon while preparing to speak and play with my brother’s band at a youth rally to see in the new year, i looked in the mirror to see my own eyes sparkling back at me in a way i haven’t seen for a long time. too long. and as i saw my own joy reflected there, i knew the reason. my heart cried out spontaneously, “oh Lord, i am in love with You.” and it was true.

later standing at the keyboard as the band played “always” – “oh, my God! He will not delay! my refuge and strength always. i will not fear. His promise is true. my God will come through always…” another realization swept it’s way through my heart and soul. “rebekah,” He was saying, “of all the things you have learned and proven true this year, this is the one thing you know without doubt. because I have shown you. I have been faithful to you. I will come through. every time.” again, my heart echoed back in praise. “Lord, i love you.”

on the way home, listening to songs that have blessed me, strengthened me, and carried me through the darkest days of 2011, i remembered all He has done and all He has brought me through. He has covered me and carried me. He has fought for me like a soldier. He has broken through the pain and loneliness. He has reached down into my heartache and pulled me out. He has sung over me and let me hear His melody again. He has spoken out over the waves and called me name. He has held onto me when i was drifting in the deep end. He has held me together when life has treated me like a beggar. He has held my heart when it was shaking like a leaf and healed it when it was broken and bursting at the seams. He has been my water in the dessert, and my shelter in the fires of affliction. He has begun to make me into a vessel He can always use for His glory.

and so i’m going to sing, with every breath i can breathe, about how He loves me and how hope has come home to me and how fear has run the other way. how all my soul needs is all His love to cover me so that the world can see that i have nothing without Him. and even though He’s heard it a thousand times before, i’m going to sing, though at times it may be with desperate tongue, and broken, clinging heart, and empty hands lifted up with nothing to give, the song that is more beautiful than songs of angels and gifts of kings.

this is not the end. i will open my mouth wider. i will taste more this year of His goodness and find Him even more satisfying and worthy than last year. i will see more of His glory, and make it known to many others. i will find myself desperate and needy again, and fall before Him to find again that He alone can meet every need of my heart. He alone can enable me to fulfill the purpose He has burned into my heart of glorifying Him and making His glory known.

may my life praise Him in 2012.

“here i am, Lord, all i am Lord.
here i am, Lord, i am Yours.”

the face of love

...experiences, observations, and thoughts from today's local baptist associational Christmas gift give away for needy children...

...some people God just brings across your path and says, "GO to that person, they need you!"
and not until you go do you realize what an incredible blessing you would have missed had you not obeyed.

...one lady sat crying with her head in her hands because she had just received a phone call telling her that her aunt, who had been battling cancer, had just passed away. all she needed was someone to be there for her, hold her, comfort her, cry with her, and let her know God hasn't forgotten her. she left with a trunk full of gifts for her two small children and a smile on her face, saying she knows God is with her and thanking Him for His blessings.

...a day-long service project should not be attempted without breakfast and coffee.

...all it takes is a glad heart and a cheerful smile to show people that Love has a face.

...if good deeds are done without love or without any outward demonstration of it, it's NOT love, NOT in His name, and better off not being done. (1 cor. 13:1-3)

...God will reward our slightest effort to be His hands and feet and respond to the people and situations around us the way Jesus would if He were walking here on earth. two ladies in a difficult situation financially and transportation-wise responded with grateful hugs and tears when i was able to help them work it out.

...music is everything when it comes to setting the mood for Christmas cheer!

..."mild He lays His glory by..." "...pleased as man with man to dwell, Jesus our Emmanuel..."
the beauty of the Christmas season is not about toys, gifts, goodies, decorations, shopping, parties, or even family. the beauty of this season we go to all lengths to celebrate is summed up in this passage -

"the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." (john 1:14)

lowly and undeserving as we are, ungrateful as we may be, our Savior, the King of the Earth, and the Owner and Creator of it all, humbled Himself and came to where we lie in our own blood and filth simply to reach out to us with His love, hope, and truth. to bring us His peace and joy.

surely what we as Christians, so-called "disciples" of His, should be most about as we celebrate His coming, (as well as every day we live!) is emulating our Example by coming down from our pedestals, laying aside our prejudices and pre-conceived assumptions, and living, loving, and serving alongside the people surrounding us who still walk in darkness.

"for what what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus sake. for God, who said, "let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
(2 cor. 4:5-6)

on true faith and simple trust

recently God is teaching me a lot about faith. not the kind of faith that depends on itself and the good feelings it can generate and muster up when things are going as close as possible to expectation and desire, but the kind that holds on to God even when it seems foolish and naive to do so. when it seems God is going against His own character and dashing to the ground every last promise He has ever made. or when you know He has a "plan" and it's "all for our good" but with the human eye we just can't see at all how He is orchestrating all these random, jumbled up, messes of our lives for anything that could possibly bring Him glory.

today i came across this illustration while reading charles spurgeon and it spoke to me. praying God might use it to encourage someone else...

*"in this mortal life trust God for all things; and trust Him alone. this is the way to live. i know it by experience. God's bare arm is quite enough to lean upon. i will give you a bit of the experience of an old laboring man  once knew. he feared God above many, and was very deeply taught of the Spirit. my picture will show you what kind of a man he was—great at hedging and ditching; but greater at simple trust. here is how he described, faith:—

"it was a bitter winter, and i had no work, and no bread in the house. the children were crying. the snow was deep, and my way was dark. my old master told me i might have a bit of wood when i wanted it; so i thought a bit of fire would warm the poor children, and i went out with my chopper to get some fuel. i was standing near a deep ditch full of snow, which had drifted into it many feet deep—in fact, i did not know how deep. while aiming a blow at a bit of wood my bill-hook slipped out of my hand, and went right down into the snow, where i could not hope to find it. standing there with no food, no fire, and the chopper gone, something seemed to say to me, 'will richardson, can you trust God now?' and my very soul said, 'that i can.'"

this is true faith—the faith which trusts the Lord when the bill-hook is gone: the faith which believes God when all outward appearances give him the lie; the faith which is happy with God alone when all friends turn their backs upon you...may you and i have this precious faith, this real faith, this God-honoring faith! the Lord's truth deserves it; His love claims it; His faithfulness constrains it. happy is he who has it!"*

what God does, that is done well

a friend recently shared with me this english translation of the words to a piece from a german cantata

the words are so simple, yet so powerful at the same time

i pray that this may be my confession of faith

i know that it is the prayer of my heart

"Was Gott tut, das ist wohlgetan"

what God does, that is done well!

His will remains just
however He deals with my affairs

i want calmly to place my whole trust in Him

He is my God who in my troubles
knows well how to support me

therefore i let Him alone rule over me

what God does, that is done well
He will not deceive me

He leads me along the right way
so i live content
with His favor and have patience
He will turn aside my misfortune
for He has the power to do so

what God does, that is done well

He will take good care of me

He, as my Physician and Miracle Worker
will not give me poison
instead of medicine
therefore i want to rely on Him
and trust His grace

what God does, that is done well
He is my Light, my Life

who can have no ill will towards me
i want to entrust myself to Him
in Joy and sorrow. The time will come
when it will be clearly apparent
how faithful His intention is

what God does, that is done well
if i have to taste the chalice
that I foolishly imagine is bitter
i shall not let myself be frightened
since in the end I shall feel delight
and sweet consolation in my heart
then all sorrows will vanish

what God does, that is done well
i shall keep to this thought
it may be that on the rough road
i shall be driven by distress, death and misery
yet God will, just like a Father
hold me in His arms
therefore I let Him alone rule over me

enlarge my heart

nothing i do on this earth
whether it be worship
whether it be surrender
whether it be loving like Him
whether it be walking in His ways
whether it be becoming like Him

nothing
can be done in my own strength

my heart is so desperately wicked and deceitful. (jer. 17:9)
there is nothing good there with which to turn to Him
not even the desire or the strength to turn to Him and His word

if there is a longing after Him
if there is a passion, no matter how weak, to know Him
if there is a desire for His glory
if there is a hunger and thirst to be like Him

this is solely the result of His enlarging my heart
to desire the heavenly
to conquer the flesh
to contain the things He longs to reveal to me

i cannot work this in my own heart
no matter how i try
no matter how much of a martyr i make of myself

i am nothing
my heart is nothing
my attempts are nothing

apart from Him
apart from His regenerating work
apart from His placing in me that desire i crave
apart from His working in me that heart after Him

oh God, enlarge my heart!

"i will run in the way of your commandments when You enlarge my heart."
psalm 119:32

this testimony is His just due

so i've posted this before on fb, but read it again today and was so blessed that i want to post it again here. :)

He has done all things well.”— Mark 7:37 

yes, from first to last, from our cradle to our grave, from the earliest pang of sin’s conviction to the last thrill of sin’s forgiveness, from earth to heaven; this will be our testimony in all the way the Lord our God has led us in the wilderness: “He has done all things well.”

in providence and in grace,

in every truth of His Word,

in every lesson of His love,

in every stroke of His rod,

in every sunbeam that has shone,

in every cloud that has shaded,

in every element that has sweetened,

in every ingredient that has embittered,

in all that has been mysterious, inscrutable, painful, and humiliating;

in all that He gave, and all that He took away,

—this testimony is His just due, and this our grateful acknowledgment through time and through eternity:

“He has done all things well.”

has He converted us through grace by a way we had thought the most improbable?

has He torn up all our earthly hopes by the roots?

has He thwarted our schemes, frustrated our plans, disappointed our expectations?

has He taught us in schools most trying, by a discipline most severe, and lessons most humbling to our nature?

has He withered our strength by sickness, reduced us to poverty by loss, crushed our heart by bereavement?

and have we been tempted to exclaim, “all these things are against me?” ah! no! faith will yet obtain the ascendancy, and sweetly sing:

“i know in all things that befell, My Jesus has done all things well.”

beloved, it must be so, for Jesus can do nothing wrong. study the way of His providence and grace with the microscopic eye of faith, view them in every light, examine them in their minutest detail, as you would the petal of a flower, or the wing of an insect; and, oh, what wonders, what beauty, what marvellous adaptation would you observe in all the varied dealings with you of your glorious Lord!

Iill sing of Jesus crucified,

the Lamb of God who bled and died,

a healing balm, a crimson tide,

flowed from His head, His feet, His side!

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

He sought me in the wilderness,

and found me there in deep distress;

He changed and washed this heart of mine,

and filled me with His love Divine!

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

for what the Lord has done for me,

for boundless grace so rich and free,

for all His mercies that are past,

i’ll praise Him while my life shall last!

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

when sorrow’s waves around me roll,

His promises my mind console;

when earth and hell my soul assail,

His grace and mercy never fail.

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

when death shall steal upon my frame,

to damp and quench the vital flame,

i’ll look into my Savior’s breast,

and there recline and sweetly rest.

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

and when we join the ransomed throng,

to chant the sweet immortal song,

with tuneful heart, and voice, and tongue,

we’ll roll the lofty note along!

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

to Him who washed us in His blood,

and made us kings and priests to God;

hosanna we will ever sing,

and make the heavenly arches ring!

above the rest this note shall swell,

‘my Jesus has done all things well.’

“He has done all things well.” – Mark 7:37

—adapted from Octavius Winslow‘s, “The Sigh of Christ”

the works of His hands

“for you, O LORD, have made me glad by Your work;
   at the works of Your hands I sing for joy.”

psalm 92:4

today as i read thru the psalms this verse screamed out at me to stop. it screamed out because of all the times i have read that verse and wondered what there was about the works of God to make me glad. not that He doesn’t do great things, but sometimes from my perspective it looks as tho His works give me only cause to grieve. today, tho, as soon as my eyes landed on the page i knew that i have much to praise Him for. and for the first time in many months i realized that His works truly have made me glad in Him, rather than just knowing i need to be glad and trying to make myself glad.

but as i contemplated longer, i knew something else. it is indeed ALL of His works, coming together in His sovereign time and for His immaculate purpose, that have made me glad. even the ones i felt at the time to be harsh and unjust. my mind skipped over to Hebrews chapter 12 and i read these verses…

 “…have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

 ‘my son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him. for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.’…it is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?...He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it...”

hebrews 12:4-11

“for the moment all discipline seems painful…”

yes, it does. it seems at times that we have a cruel Father, not concerned in the least for our happiness.

but it is “that we may share His holiness.”

wow. it is those He loves, those He looks on as precious children, those He wishes to see made like Himself, who feel the sting of His painful, chastising works.

but in the end, it is all “for our good.”  

the joyous and the painful.

and today it is about ALL the works of His hands that I sing for joy.

“and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”

romans 8:28