enlarge my heart

nothing i do on this earth
whether it be worship
whether it be surrender
whether it be loving like Him
whether it be walking in His ways
whether it be becoming like Him

nothing
can be done in my own strength

my heart is so desperately wicked and deceitful. (jer. 17:9)
there is nothing good there with which to turn to Him
not even the desire or the strength to turn to Him and His word

if there is a longing after Him
if there is a passion, no matter how weak, to know Him
if there is a desire for His glory
if there is a hunger and thirst to be like Him

this is solely the result of His enlarging my heart
to desire the heavenly
to conquer the flesh
to contain the things He longs to reveal to me

i cannot work this in my own heart
no matter how i try
no matter how much of a martyr i make of myself

i am nothing
my heart is nothing
my attempts are nothing

apart from Him
apart from His regenerating work
apart from His placing in me that desire i crave
apart from His working in me that heart after Him

oh God, enlarge my heart!

"i will run in the way of your commandments when You enlarge my heart."
psalm 119:32